The 'Gift' of Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Five years ago, when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I was extremely upset and worried at first. I was only 30 years old. I had two toddlers. I didn’t know how I was going to take care of them and do everything else I needed to do. 

Within two years the disease had progressed to the point that I experienced debilitating pain and stiffness in the joints in my feet, wrists, and hands most days. . The mornings were the worst. There were some days I didn't think I would make it out of bed. Other days, I was in constant pain. It was near impossible to fall asleep at night.
 
I fell into a deep depression.
 
My husband was supportive... but many aspects of our relationship suffered, including our sex life. Barely being able to move and having him do many of the things I used to do around the house was also a big strain.
 
I was amazed at how often I'd hear, "the gift of arthritis, or the gift of pain."
 
A gift? I don't think so. 
 
I was an exercise nut. I ran 3-4 miles every day. Running was an integral part of my physical and emotional health. That was no longer a possibility. I could barely walk most days.
 
One morning, last year, I couldn't get out of bed. I had reached bottom. I was frightened and alone. I called my husband and asked him to take me to the rheumatologist (who I hadn’t seen in about 2 years). He came home and helped took me to the doctor’s office. 
 
When the doctor saw me, he was shocked. He asked where I had been. He said they had called me a few times over the two years... but I don't like doctors or medical help. I had been very stubborn about independence and self-reliance. He saw how I moved, took a thorough medical history, some x-rays and then sat down to talk with me and my husband.
 
"You've caused yourself a lot of needless suffering and debilitation," he said. He went on to tell us that there are many treatments to help manage rheumatoid arthritis and there are certainly pain medications.  
 
I started crying as he went on about how I should be exercising to keep the range-of-motion as large as it could be. It really hurt when he told me that the disease might not have progressed quite as far as it has, had I come in sooner.
 
I realized that my stubbornness and insistence on independence had caused not only my suffering but also hurt those around me, especially my husband and my kids.
 
The doctor prescribed two categories of medications, one to relieve symptoms and the other to control the progression of the disease She also prescribed an antidepressant. In addition, she recommended an exercise program consisting of flexibility and range-of-motion exercises, strength training, and aerobic or cardiovascular exercises. She also urged me to come back for a follow-up appointment  several weeks later and insisted that I come see her every three months after that to make sure I got good control of my RA. . 
 
It’s been a year since I started seeing her again. My life is completely different. I have flexibility, I can play with my kids, I'm no longer depressed and I am enjoying my life. Don't get me wrong... I still experience some pain, but it’s nothing like it was. I don't run anymore, but I walk a lot and get just as much enjoyment out of it. 
 
I'm happier, but more importantly, my family is happier. We can do many things we stopped doing, like going on trips, camping, visiting...
 
I guess if I had to describe my RA as a gift.... It would be the gift of learning to ask for help, learning to be more dependent on those who love me. It also taught me to have faith in my doctor.

Marion K.